Don't Want You Back Lyrics
(written by: Eamon)
Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No
[Verse 1:]
See I dont, know why, I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel
[chorus:]
******* what i said it dont mean **** now
******* presents might as well throw em out
******* all those *****, they didnt mean jack
******* you, you ****, I dont want you back
******* what i said it dont mean **** now
******* presents might as well throw em out
******* all those *****, they didnt mean jack
******* you, you ****, I dont want you back
[verse 2:]
You thought, you could
Keep this ******* from me, yeah
Ya burnt ********, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hag, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me
******* what I said it dont mean ******* now
******* up presents might as well throw em out
******* all those ******* they didnt mean jack
******* you, you ****, I dont want you back
******* what I said it dont mean ******* now
******* up presents might as well throw em out
******* all those ****** they didnt mean jack
******* you, you ****, I dont want you back
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh hun yeah
Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but I truly mean im sad
It hurt real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved tha hoe
******* what I said it dont mean ******* now
******* up presents might as well throw em out
******* all those ******** they didnt mean jack
******* you, you ****, I dont want you back
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
How To Increase Motivation-by John Wesley
If you want to make things happen the ability to motivate yourself and others is a crucial skill. At work, home, and everywhere in between, people use motivation to get results. Motivation requires a delicate balance of communication, structure, and incentives. These 21 tactics will help you maximize motivation in yourself and others.
Motivation
1. Consequences - Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?
2. Pleasure - This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.
3. Performance incentives - Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.
4. Detailed instructions - If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.
5. Short and long term goals - Use both short and long term goals to guide the action process and create an overall philosophy.
6. Kindness - Get people on your side and they’ll want to help you. Piss them off and they’ll do everything they can to screw you over.
7. Deadlines - Many people are most productive right before a big deadline. They also have a hard time focusing until that deadline is looming overhead. Use this to your advantage by setting up a series of mini-deadlines building up to an end result.
8. Team Spirit - Create an environment of camaraderie. People work more effectively when they feel like part of team — they don’t want to let others down.
10. Recognize achievement - Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work isn’t being ignored.
11. Personal stake - Think about the personal stake of others. What do they need? By understanding this you’ll be able to keep people happy and productive.
12. Concentrate on outcomes - No one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder. Focus on outcomes — make it clear what you want and cut people loose to get it done on their own.
13. Trust and Respect - Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably.
14. Create challenges - People are happy when they’re progressing towards a goal. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic.
15. Let people be creative - Don’t expect everyone to do things your way. Allowing people to be creative creates a more optimistic environment and can lead to awesome new ideas.
16. Constructive criticism - Often people don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Let them know. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.
17. Demand improvement - Don’t let people stagnate. Each time someone advances raise the bar a little higher (especially for yourself).
18. Make it fun - Work is most enjoyable when it doesn’t feel like work at all. Let people have fun and the positive environment will lead to better results.
19. Create opportunities - Give people the opportunity to advance. Let them know that hard work will pay off.
20. Communication - Keep the communication channels open. By being aware of potential problems you can fix them before a serious dispute arises.
21. Make it stimulating - Mix it up. Don’t ask people to do the same boring tasks all the time. A stimulating environment creates enthusiasm and the opportunity for “big picture” thinking.
Tools to Develop Self-esteem
Here are 25 steps for developing self-esteem:
1.Figure out what your problem is.
Realize your problem isn’t who you are, it’s what you have used to protect your physical and emotional well being. It’s hiding who you are: a beautiful human being, a wonderful source of awareness, knowledge, creativity, love and joy. If you practice self-esteem based on the faith that this is who you really are, then your problem will dissolve.
2.Figure out who you are.
Take self-evaluation quizzes. Learn as much as you can about who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. Self-knowledge is a key to success.
3.Decide what you can and can’t control.
Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control.
4.Responsibility.
Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness, and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Begin your day with the words "I am responsible."
5.Make anxiety your ally.
Write down your worries for 30 days. Nagging concerns that loom so large in your imagination lose their power on paper. Amazingly, after writing them down the anxieties begin to fade.
6.Recognize that mistakes are opportunities.
Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies; rather they are problems you now have the opportunity to solve. "Success," is often a string of failed attempts to get it right.
7.Compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else.
8.Be ambitious.
When setting goals, remember that you are distinct from what you have and what you seem to be. If you let others define who you are, you may not find happiness. Pursue your own dreams -- not your parent’s, mates, or your best friend’s.
9.Be brave and take risks.
Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Risk-taking builds confidence. When considering any risk: define a clear goal. Review the positive, practical and potential losses. Determine whether the risk is one of trust, identity or something larger. When you focus on risks that have a larger purpose, you can’t go wrong. Even if the risk doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would, you will gain from it. Act. Take a risk. Be confident -- you have earned it.
10.Think and speak positively.
If you hear a compliment or positive statements about someone you know pass that compliment on to them. An Arabian proverb puts it neatly: Blessed is he who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed he who repeats it.
11.Learn something new.
Create a new hobby. Increase your vocabulary one word a week. Take on a new physical challenge or activity.
12.Spend time investing in your personal growth.
This enables joy to flourish amid the fears and difficulties of life. Read self-help books and act on the knowledge.
13.Decisions:
The next time you ponder a decision, think of everything that could go right and say to yourself, "What do I have to lose, really?
14.Smile and be courteous.
Use the words please and thank you consistently.
15.Be aware of media’s messages.
Their goal is to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy what they are selling.
16.Keep good company.
Positive feeds positive and negative breeds negative. If you choose to be around positive people you in turn will become more positive.
17.Reward yourself.
Give yourself and others positive rewards for being and doing well.
18.Don’t accept messages that damage your own self-esteem.
It is much easier to improve or change your behavior when you believe you are lovable and capable.
19.Be aware of the different messages
That you hear in your head and remember to turn up the volume on the messages that contribute to your positive self-esteem and to turn down the volume on any message that encourages you to think negatively about your worth or ability.
20.You can improve the quality of messages
You have in your head about being lovable and capable. Use "how to" statements in your head and take action on the answers you receive. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself & out loud as much as possible.
21.Negative messages can build esteem as long
A they are not attacking your self worth or defining yourself as incapable. Properly delivered negative messages say "I care about myself. I am a worthwhile person and I can learn how to do things better."
22.Any thoughts that take us away from a positive feeling are not worth having or defending.
If you want to be happy, follow your happy feelings, not your unhappy ones.
23.The moment you hear a critical remark, ask yourself,
"What’s on this person’s screen?" Assume that all critical remarks arise from some shortcoming. Remember that people can only criticize what’s on their screen and that their screens are not reliable. It’s very unlikely that any criticism is based on an accurate perception of you. It’s much more likely that the critic is reacting to emotions, memories, and behavior patterns that have almost nothing to do with you. Thinking poorly about you because of such critics is a mistake. When someone criticizes you do and say the following: Smile and say to yourself, "Boy, I wonder what’s on their screen to make them so critical of me?" Remember it’s about them not about you.
24.Remember that all criticism shares one characteristic
It is unwelcome. You didn’t invite people to dump the distorted contents of their screen on you. You may feel that you owe some critics a response, but you never owe a critic your self-esteem.
25.A small success can bring big feeling of competence.
Small steps lead to more steps. Pat your self on the back every time you make a small success. Every step counts. Take one step at a time in a positive direction; this is the practice of self-esteem.
1.Figure out what your problem is.
Realize your problem isn’t who you are, it’s what you have used to protect your physical and emotional well being. It’s hiding who you are: a beautiful human being, a wonderful source of awareness, knowledge, creativity, love and joy. If you practice self-esteem based on the faith that this is who you really are, then your problem will dissolve.
2.Figure out who you are.
Take self-evaluation quizzes. Learn as much as you can about who you are and why you think and feel the way you do. Self-knowledge is a key to success.
3.Decide what you can and can’t control.
Change and act on the things that are in your control and release the things that are out of your control.
4.Responsibility.
Finding self-confidence requires accepting responsibility for your own happiness, and recognizing that you are a product not only of your genetic code and your environment, but of the choices you make. Begin your day with the words "I am responsible."
5.Make anxiety your ally.
Write down your worries for 30 days. Nagging concerns that loom so large in your imagination lose their power on paper. Amazingly, after writing them down the anxieties begin to fade.
6.Recognize that mistakes are opportunities.
Keep the setback in perspective. Most mistakes are not personal tragedies; rather they are problems you now have the opportunity to solve. "Success," is often a string of failed attempts to get it right.
7.Compete to improve yourself not to beat someone else.
8.Be ambitious.
When setting goals, remember that you are distinct from what you have and what you seem to be. If you let others define who you are, you may not find happiness. Pursue your own dreams -- not your parent’s, mates, or your best friend’s.
9.Be brave and take risks.
Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Risk-taking builds confidence. When considering any risk: define a clear goal. Review the positive, practical and potential losses. Determine whether the risk is one of trust, identity or something larger. When you focus on risks that have a larger purpose, you can’t go wrong. Even if the risk doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would, you will gain from it. Act. Take a risk. Be confident -- you have earned it.
10.Think and speak positively.
If you hear a compliment or positive statements about someone you know pass that compliment on to them. An Arabian proverb puts it neatly: Blessed is he who speaks a kindness; thrice blessed he who repeats it.
11.Learn something new.
Create a new hobby. Increase your vocabulary one word a week. Take on a new physical challenge or activity.
12.Spend time investing in your personal growth.
This enables joy to flourish amid the fears and difficulties of life. Read self-help books and act on the knowledge.
13.Decisions:
The next time you ponder a decision, think of everything that could go right and say to yourself, "What do I have to lose, really?
14.Smile and be courteous.
Use the words please and thank you consistently.
15.Be aware of media’s messages.
Their goal is to make you feel bad about yourself so you will buy what they are selling.
16.Keep good company.
Positive feeds positive and negative breeds negative. If you choose to be around positive people you in turn will become more positive.
17.Reward yourself.
Give yourself and others positive rewards for being and doing well.
18.Don’t accept messages that damage your own self-esteem.
It is much easier to improve or change your behavior when you believe you are lovable and capable.
19.Be aware of the different messages
That you hear in your head and remember to turn up the volume on the messages that contribute to your positive self-esteem and to turn down the volume on any message that encourages you to think negatively about your worth or ability.
20.You can improve the quality of messages
You have in your head about being lovable and capable. Use "how to" statements in your head and take action on the answers you receive. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself & out loud as much as possible.
21.Negative messages can build esteem as long
A they are not attacking your self worth or defining yourself as incapable. Properly delivered negative messages say "I care about myself. I am a worthwhile person and I can learn how to do things better."
22.Any thoughts that take us away from a positive feeling are not worth having or defending.
If you want to be happy, follow your happy feelings, not your unhappy ones.
23.The moment you hear a critical remark, ask yourself,
"What’s on this person’s screen?" Assume that all critical remarks arise from some shortcoming. Remember that people can only criticize what’s on their screen and that their screens are not reliable. It’s very unlikely that any criticism is based on an accurate perception of you. It’s much more likely that the critic is reacting to emotions, memories, and behavior patterns that have almost nothing to do with you. Thinking poorly about you because of such critics is a mistake. When someone criticizes you do and say the following: Smile and say to yourself, "Boy, I wonder what’s on their screen to make them so critical of me?" Remember it’s about them not about you.
24.Remember that all criticism shares one characteristic
It is unwelcome. You didn’t invite people to dump the distorted contents of their screen on you. You may feel that you owe some critics a response, but you never owe a critic your self-esteem.
25.A small success can bring big feeling of competence.
Small steps lead to more steps. Pat your self on the back every time you make a small success. Every step counts. Take one step at a time in a positive direction; this is the practice of self-esteem.
11 Easy Ways to Handle Stress - By Alison Blackman Dunham of THE ADVICE SISTERS®
One of the most significant problems human beings face as a general population is how to handle stress. As a life & career expert, and an acclaimed advice columnist, I have compiled eleven of the most significant ways that you can reduce stress in your life. You may not always be able to make stress disappear, but you can manage it with some very simple techniques.
1. Talk!
Don't hold all your feelings within! Discuss your stressful feelings with someone you trust who will listen without being judgmental or pressuring you to their own point of view. Even if you can't change the immediate situation, talking about it helps alleviate some of the tension you may be feeling. Supplement the verbalizing with something physical: write it out, exercise or hit a pillow.
2. ACT!
Be willing to take risk and make change, no matter how small. Try to change the stressful situation, or at least some part of it. Moving forward in small ways helps you feel empowered and in control. Put one foot in front of the other to move in a positive direction. Soon, the stress will lessen.
3. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!
If you learn about how your body reacts to stress, you can also learn how to counter that stress. Learn to listen to your body's signals and find ways to reduce your stress, even if it's just "taking five" to clear your mind. Relaxation exercises (E.g. Yoga, meditation, physical exercise) help, too.
4. BE IN CHARGE!
Discover what you need to feel good about yourself and get your needs met. Another way to reduce your stress is to find an interest, hobby or activity where you feel in charge and call the shots. If you really feel out of control, don't stay silent and alone! Seek guidance from someone who is qualified to help you get through the obstacles, and move forward again. If you can't find someone qualified in your neighborhood or you don't feel as though you can talk to someone "in person" try a qualified internet counselor. If you would like to talk to ME (Advice Sister Alison) you can find information at http://www.advicesisters.net/getpersonaladvice3.html
5. DON'T OVERWHELM YOURSELF
If you are stressed and overwhelmed, perhaps you are trying to handle too much. Rid yourself of extra duties that aren't necessary or important. Learn how to delegate and how to say "no" without feeling guilty. Ask for help if you need it.
6. GET AWAY
Sometimes a change, however small, can do wonders for your spirit. Forget it all for a while--escape! Go somewhere new for a few hours, or a few days if you can afford to. If not, it may be helpful just to "get away" to a warm bath for a little while! A good article on how to create an easy spa experience at home is at: http://www.advicesisters.net/WWarchives/wwarcspa3.html
7. PRIORITIZE
You may not be able to avoid all the responsibilities obligations you currently have, but you can learn how to complete them without resentment and consciously choose how you will handle them.
8. EXTEND YOURSELF
Make your own life better by making someone else's life better. Give of yourself. Volunteer! You will feel empowered, positive, important...and you will be! Visit http://www.volunteermatch.com and choose an organization you believe in!
9. MAKE SUCCESS HAPPEN!
If you can't change the world, change yourself! Learn how to love yourself as you are, while you work towards your goals. Then, make a commitment to yourself to start improving the things about yourself and your life that (you believe) need it. Instead of immediate, dramatic change, learn to enjoy the journey of lifelong self-improvement. You are always a work in progress. For life & career advice, visit ASK ALISON - Managing Your Life & Career at: http://www.metrotribe.org/askalison.html for love and relationship advice, visit THE ADVICE SISTERS Relationship Tools For Winners Web Site http://www.advicesisters.net/
10. SOCIALIZE
Spend time with family and friends for love and support. Don't be afraid to enjoy yourself! Appreciate friendship and let others know you care about them, too. Love may not conquer all, but it's a great start!
11. LEARN HOW TO BE HAPPY
Copyright © 2002 all rights reserved by THE ADVICE SISTERS® The Advice Sisters is a registered
Monday, November 17, 2008
Bukit Tinggi-Selesa Hotel
Sebelum game RAKIT bermula....
Team kami menang no 1!! Sesuai ngan nama Team kitorang = "ONE ONE"
Sebelum sesi penyampaian hadiah..
Ofismate aku..sumer "parti" ada..MCA,UMNO, MIC (fotographer)...hehe
Aku n Erin yang kerek...hehePada 14-15 November 2008 yang lepas, aku pergi ke Bukit Tinggi anjuran company aku. Mula-mula aku ingatkan pegi Bukit Tinggi Colmar Tropicale tu...rupanya tak...huhuh.....Selesa Hotel jer...kecewa sungguh...Hotel nama jer Selesa, tp tak Selesa pun...dah la makanan tak best...Takpe,tutup cerita pasal hotel.
Tujuan pergi ke Bukit Tinggi adalah kerana untuk merapatkan semangat sesama ofismate aka TEAM..SO aktiviti yang dianjurkan adalah berunsurkan TEAMBUILDING..majoriti peserta aka staff2 kat company aku tu, adalah cina..so pepaham jer la..huhu..best mmg best gak ngan pengalaman-pengalaman selama 2 hari tu...
Tp pengalaman yang paling aku tak boleh lupa, aku "LEMAS" kat tempat kitorang main game bernama "RAKIT"...SERIAU aku time tu..bleh plak aku nak lemas pas "rakit" yang kitorang bina tu terbalik..banyak jgak la aku telan air time tu...sumer perasaan ada time tu..dengan malunya, takut sbb tak tau berenang, kecewa sbb kalah, macam-macam lg la perasaan yg ada time tu..apa2 pun, mmg best la game tu..hehehe....
So take a look at some pictures taken during that days... =)
My Dream Laptop..
Dell™ Studio 15 (My current laptop also the same brand..but still want this one!)Product Features:
Intel® Centrino® 2 Processor Technology - Intel® Core™2 Duo Processor P7350 (2 GHz)
Operating system
Memory
Operating system
Genuine Windows Vista® Home Basic*,
Memory
2GB DDR2 SDRAM
Monitor
15.4" WXGA WLED Display with TrueLife™
Hard Drive
160GB* SATA Hard Drive,
Optical Drive
DVD Burner*
Graphic Card
Intel® Integrated Graphics Media Accelerator 4500MHD
Wireless Network Card
Intel® WiFi Link 5100 (802.11a/g/n) Half Mini-card
Service
1 Year Hardware Warranty, InHome Service after Remote Diagnosis
The art of inspiration with Dell Studio laptops. |
Express yourselfColour-coordinated life Complement your personal style with a choice of colours or a distinctive pattern with a customised accent. Capacitive touchpad & multimedia buttons Experience intuitive interaction with capacitive multimedia keys, which illuminate when touched. Backlit keyboard (optional) An illuminated keyboard helps maintain the ambience of no- and low-light environments. |  |  |
You’re always connected |
 | | Dell Exclusive Wi-Fi Catcher Find a wireless network without even powering up your system. Bluetooth® (optional) Wirelessly connect keyboards, cameras, phones, mice and more. High capacity batteries All the power you need with high capacity batteries and a range of battery optimisation options. |
Personalise your High-Definition lifeGigabit high-speed Ethernet Experience the blazing speed of Gigabit Ethernet. Surround Sound Audio Immerse yourself with available theater-style surround sound audio. LED backlit display (optional) An environmentally friendly LED display gives you longer battery life and a brighter, more vibrant display. | |  |
First-class supportDell Support Center A desktop icon provides automated fixes, software upgrades and tools to help keep your system up-to-date and running efficiently. DellConnect Remote Assistance Rely on our experts to help diagnose and amend system issues remotely. |
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Sunday, November 16, 2008
Be Successful in Getting Your Dream Job!
The term “job interview” usually sends a shiver down the spine to most job hunters out there, for they may never know what awaits them over at the other end of the employment table. Stories of grueling job interviews are abound everywhere, and many victims, especially the fresh ones have walked out from those interrogations with their self-confidence fall flat onto the ground.
Many employers have their own set of principles and methods in choosing his right employee to work for him in his company. But for all job hunters out there, ever wondered how is it that some people just get it right at the snap of their fingers? Well, they generally have at hand the "Nine Rules of All Successful Job Hunters".
Rule No. 1: Please be punctual
Getting there early at the interviewer’s place will not hurt you because for one thing, it clearly shows that you are someone who values time and that could have already earned you a few plus points. Being late ultimately hurts your interviewer’s first impression on you as someone who could not care less about wasting other people’s time. So, the next time you attend an interview, arrive at least 15 minutes earlier.
Rule No. 2: Be courteous
You should be polite to everyone over at the interviewer’s office because you will never know who may leak some etiquette news over to the interviewer’s ears. Just engage in simple conversations with anyone you come by, especially the front-office staff because they are often the ones whom your employer would usually seek opinions on about your manners when you first came to the office.
Rule No. 3: Take control of your mouth
Do not go on and on in your replies but instead keep it to a considerable length, enough to get your message across in a pleasant way, thus leaving nonsense blabber behind you. It is important that you try not to be too talkative till the extent of interrupting the interviewer because that eventually puts down all your professionalism and impressive resume.
Rule No. 4: Be cautious of your body language
One major aspect of a person that one would usually tend to ignore is his unspoken language, that is, the body language. One’s posture and movements tell a whole lot about the person’s character and manners. Therefore, do not slouch while seated or standing but instead keep your posture upright because it exudes confidence and maintain your eye contact on the interviewer because it would mean respect and honesty. Also, always remember to give your interviewer a strong, firm handshake before you leave the room.
Rule No. 5: Honesty is the best policy
Make honest statements about yourself and do not try to lie to your interviewer because a lie discovered would mean immediate dismissal of your application. Interviewers definitely appreciate truthful replies because they would probably find it a hefty task later on should they admit one dishonest employee into their organization.
Rule No. 6: Show assertiveness
Job hunters who do follow-up on their applications for their jobs by calling to the companies and asking about the status of their applications would show that they are initiative people. Some companies tend to view this as being positive because you are displaying your desire to work for that company and that you are indeed very passionate about the job that you are applying for.
Rule No. 7: Be ready at all times
It is important that you should have done some background check on the company before going for the interview because your answers would reveal whether you have taken the time or interest to get to know the company and ultimately the job itself. Having sufficient preparations and knowledge will create an impression that you are not just a job seeker, but you are actually looking to work with the company itself.
Rule No. 8: Promote professionalism
It helps to ensure that your resume and all other documents are well-presented and in a good condition because even while looking for jobs, you should try to portray professionalism because it is a much sought after criterion in an individual.
Rule No. 9: Thank your interviewers
Most interviewers like receiving thank you notes after interviews because thanking them for their time would show your thoughtful side. You could also offer to provide them with any other additional material needed for verifications of any kind. Do not underestimate an appreciative gesture because it might move you up onto a more favorable position for the job your desire.
10 Ways to Be Happier-by Gretchen Rubin
1. Don’t start with profundities.
When I began my Happiness Project, I realized pretty quickly that, rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self-identity, I should start with the basics, like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry. Science backs this up; these two factors have a big impact on happiness.
2. Do let the sun go down on anger.
I had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible, to make sure I vented all bad feelings before bedtime. Studies show, however, that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock. Expressing anger related to minor, fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings, while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate.
3. Fake it till you feel it.
Feelings follow actions. If I’m feeling low, I deliberately act cheery, and I find myself actually feeling happier. If I’m feeling angry at someone, I do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften. This strategy is uncannily effective.
4. Realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly.
Challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness. The brain is stimulated by surprise, and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction. People who do new things — learn a game, travel to unfamiliar places — are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well. I often remind myself to “Enjoy the fun of failure” and tackle some daunting goal.
5. Don’t treat the blues with a “treat.”
Often the things I choose as “treats” aren’t good for me. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day. While it’s easy to think, I’ll feel good after I have a few glasses of wine…a pint of ice cream…a cigarette…a new pair of jeans, it’s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better.
6. Buy some happiness.
Our basic psychological needs include feeling loved, secure, and good at what we do and having a sense of control. Money doesn’t automatically fill these requirements, but it sure can help. I’ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends; to promote my health; to work more efficiently; to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict; to support important causes; and to have enlarging experiences. For example, when my sister got married, I splurged on a better digital camera. It was expensive, but it gave me a lot of happiness bang for the buck.
7. Don’t insist on the best.
There are two types of decision makers. Satisficers (yes, satisficers) make a decision once their criteria are met. When they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want, they’re satisfied. Maximizers want to make the best possible decision. Even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements, they can’t make a decision until they’ve examined every option. Satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers. Maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions, and they’re often anxious about their choices. Sometimes good enough is good enough.
8. Exercise to boost energy.
I knew, intellectually, that this worked, but how often have I told myself, “I’m just too tired to go to the gym”? Exercise is one of the most dependable mood-boosters. Even a 10-minute walk can brighten my outlook.
9. Stop nagging.
I knew my nagging wasn’t working particularly well, but I figured that if I stopped, my husband would never do a thing around the house. Wrong. If anything, more work got done. Plus, I got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging. I hadn’t realized how shrewish and angry I had felt as a result of speaking like that. I replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools: wordless hints (for example, leaving a new lightbulb on the counter); using just one word (saying “Milk!” instead of talking on and on); not insisting that something be done on my schedule; and, most effective of all, doing a task myself. Why did I get to set the assignments?
10. Take action.
Some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament: You’re born an Eeyore or a Tigger, and that’s that. Although it’s true that genetics play a big role, about 40 percent of your happiness level is within your control. Taking time to reflect, and conscious steps to make your life happier, really does work. So use these tips to start your own Happiness Project. I promise it won’t take you a whole year.
About the Author
Gretchen Rubin is the author of several books, and she keeps a daily blog at www.happiness-project.com. Her next book, The Happiness Project, will be published in late 2009. She lives in
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